Tater Scot, a Modern Day Wizard

Hello, let me introduce myself, I am Tater Scot, a modern day wizard. Perhaps I should give you a little of my history. I was raised Southern Baptist from birth. My family’s Southern Baptist roots go back several generations. I attended church several times a week and went to a Southern Baptist high school. I still remember there was no dancing at the school, so, of course, no prom. We were like a real life “Footloose” story. So I existed in the Southern Baptist world for many years. And I learned one thing for sure, the Southern Baptist message is simple, fear. Fear God, fear change, fear anyone with common reasoning skills and most importantly, fear hell. Because if God (or the Southern Baptists) don’t approve, that’s where you’re going! But that could only work on me for so long. As reason kicked in, it started to dawn on me that these fear-mongers had no real answers. They all lived in fear, controlled by that same fear, which they instilled. Well I figured maybe it was just the Southern Baptists.

So I tried the United Methodist church. I still remember my grandma, who I love dearly, was greatly distressed that I might lose my salvation because I “moved my letter” (membership) to a non-Southern Baptist church. To her, all the prayers and good works in the world, didn’t matter. Those who aren’t members of “God’s church” will burn in hell. Southern Baptist fear doesn’t let go easily. Well after a bit of time with the United Methodists, I learned their message is also, simple, they don’t really have a message but if you follow a plan and include God somewhere, it should work. Oh yeah, and be real nice. God likes that. Well that didn’t really help find the truth. So that’s when I began to realize that there must be better ways to divine the truth. And my quest to divine this evasive truth began.

I originally started with reading tea leaves but drinking all that tea just kept me up all night, nervous about my future. So I tried pendulums, but my hands were still shaky from all the tea. So I tried to learn palmistry, but the guy teaching it, had Parkinsons. I was afraid he might think I was making fun of him, being still shaky from the tea. And I’m really thinking maybe I need to stop drinking all the tea. Well anyway, after that, I tried learning how to read entrails, but finding virgins willing to be sacrificed can be very daughting and, let’s be honest, you can only visit the pound so often before they start to get suspicious. Okay, maybe not. But after much searching, I discovered that all truth is in the Tarot cards, which I found a lot easier to read, and hey, no messy entrails! Bonus!

So I began to read my tarot cards everyday. Over time, I even came up with my own tarot card spreads. I wanted to call them Tater Spreads but I thought that would most likely draw the wrong kind of crowd. Maybe I can use that for my potato flavored margarine idea, I’m working on. Perhaps, you have other ideas. Pervert! 😉

Now some people will tell you that the cards are open to interpretation and that they really can’t help you, but I disagree. I asked the cards, just the other day, to help me find my car keys. Okay, so maybe it didn’t quite work out the way I thought it would. All the clues kept leading me to the bodies of dead missing children. Hey, I’m looking for keys, not kids. Well obviously, I need to be more specific. Okay then I found Amelia Earnhart. Was my keys with her? Nope. Well I was stumped. I even solved the Jimmy Hoffa case and found your missing sock, which has a hole in it by the way, but still, no keys. Finally, I found Carmen San Diego, under my couch, and, miraculously, under her, was my car keys! See? This stuff really works!

There are other people, who will tell you that the type of cards you use makes a difference. But that’s not true, just the other day, I was using the Chance and Community Chest cards from my Monopoly Game. I had a great reading, not only did I get out of jail free and got $100 from a bank error in my favor but I won an extra $20 in a beauty contest. Okay, so I won the beauty contest while still in jail but hey, a win’s, a win in my book!

In truth, few people truly understand the tarot cards. I always chuckle when the Death card is pulled during a reading and the person I am reading for, reacts with uncomfortable shock. I have to explain to them that the Death card rarely means actual death. If it did, then a great deal of people would be keeling over at readings, all the time. Boy, that would really kill of my psychic reading business. Pardon the pun. Maybe I should just make a card that says “Get hit by a bus”, that way, there is no question. But seriously, the Death card is all about transformation. Do you remember when you were 13 years old? Do you remember the transformation from child to teenager? That hellish time with change on all levels; physical, mental, emotional & spiritual. That is the Death card. It is death to the old to make way for the new. It is the symbol of Baptism, the death of the old man giving rise the new man. It is the caterpillar that has gone into the cocoon to emerge later as the butterfly.

The truth, like the cat in the above picture, is hidden in plain site. Easy to spot but only if you know where to look. The keys that unlock the hidden truth of the universe can be found in the Tarot. I suggest you start your own quest, pick up a tarot deck and happy reading! 😉

 

 

 

 

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Life at the Laundromat

For the longest time I had no washer and dryer at home, so once every 2 weeks, I had to truck down to the laundromat. I know you think as a modern day wizard, you should be able to just zap your clothes clean. Though I am sure that it is possible, I have yet to manage this simple task. So I must bless the public laundromat with my presence.

There are a lot of unusual characters, aside from me, that one can meet at the laundromat. For example, there’s the guy that, of the 100 washers available, picks the one right next to yours. He starts to load the washer and you notice blood all over the sheets he putting in the washer. He keeps looking around rather nervously.

Then, of course there is the lady who, I hope, is babysitting all those kids she has with her. Though I doubt it because they look just like her. She takes up every washer available and still has more loads waiting. Maybe it’s me, but there is just an usually smell that prevades these women and their kids. If a few of these women arrive at the same time, you could be an involuntary member of a flash mob. Kids crying, screaming and begging for another quarter to take a “ride” in the dryer. Scary.

You might notice a girl that comes in. You say “hello”. She seems nice enough. She starts loading her washer and that’s when you notice the panties with shit-stains (or worse) on them. How do you proceed conversationally with her, pretending that you didn’t just see that? Now you start to wonder who used the washer before you. What was that was a brown “who farted” towel that was stuck to the side?

I rarely find laudromats in “nice neighborhoods” so I expect there to be some usually activity when I go. I am always afraid to leave my laundry and come back later to find everyone wearing clothes that look suspisiously like mine. Though admittedly, I am not washing Armani suits or anything, but still I don’t want to lose my Greatful Dead shirt or, god forbid, my Star Wars shirt! But I find it difficult staying there while my laundry is washing or drying. If the place has televisions, they are usually playing talk shows or soap operas, in languages, I am not likely to understand, at a volume, I am not likely to appreciate.

All I can say is the opportunity to use a washer and dryer in the privacy of my own home with my own shit-stained clothes to wash, is one of the greatest benefits of the modern age! If you find yourself in need of the public laundromat, bring lots of quarters, so you too, can take rides in the dryer! It’s totally fun! :)

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Peanut Butter Fingers and Magick Moments

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My fingers are brown and smell like peanut butter. Okay, I know that sounds bad. It’s because I have just finished giving, my dog, his medicine. Does that help? Is it conjuring up bad images? Probably. Well the bone and joint medicine I give to my dog, Alistar, is peanut butter flavored. He’s getting up there in years and has now reached the “geriatric” age for dogs.

He used to walk with me every morning, proudly. But recently it became a struggle, but he still wags his tail. So he’s had to stay home. But he walks with me in spirit. He’s been walking with me for so long that I can still feel him near me when I am on my walk. I can see his tail all perched like a periscope, trotting right next to me.

Alistar doesn’t like taking his medicine. I tried to give the peanut butter flavored chewable pill to him, as a treat. I mean peanut butter flavor is supposed to be dog-approved. But he didn’t buy it. So I have been trying to hide it wrapped in a piece of cheese. But he has already figured out how to separate the cheese from the pill and then to casually drop it on the floor, hoping I won’t notice. So, of course, now I have to pick up the spit covered-peanut flavored pill and try again. Hence the reason my fingers smell like cheese and peanut butter. Plus I added fish oil as a supplement. Yuck! I guess maybe that’s why he doesn’t want it. Oh well. He needs to take his medicine. I want him to be walking with me again.

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Not wanting my fingers to smell like the peanut-butter-cheese-fish oil combo, I have decided to change tactics. Now, I wrap the pills in a piece of ham. So far, so good. It seems that his tendency to swallow meat, whole, and without question has its merits.

Of course, being a modern day wizard, I cast real spells of healing on both man and beast. While working on healing magick on my dog, a new magick word came to me. The word was “nienastar”. It was more of a magickal tone. I could feel it channeling through me straight to the spots that need healing. He went outside a short time later and was actually running around. He seems to be feel better. Of course, his tail was wagging, like it always does.

I remember the first day we met. Friends had purchased a gift certificate at the pound (I had no idea they did such things). I was still in grief about the loss of my dog, Anastasia, on Christmas day. I told them I really wasn’t sure I wanted to go “pick out a replacement”. But unbeknownst to me, they had already gone down to the pound and picked out several dogs that they felt I might like. We went through them and low and behold the last choice was the perfect choice. He and I connected instantly. I can’t explain the connection but it is strong. I have been with him more almost 10 years now.

He is the energy I have connected with my magick wand. The dog head carved on the end of my wand was inspired by him, as he sat at my feet. I feel his energy channel through the wand. I can’t tell you why only that the energy he provides is powerful!

For more Tater resources –
  • WHAT’S NEW – The South rises in the Castro « California Culinary … – bility. The menu features starters like charbroiled West Coast oysters and = “yam-yam tater tots” with … » Tip: Use site restrict in your query to search within a site = (site:nytimes.com or site:.edu). Learn more. …
  • Area Restaurants in Spencer County, Indiana – Windell’s Cafe & The … – As a regular hamburger connoisseur, I tried their double burger with tater tots, and I was not disappointed. Not only were the tots done perfectly — crunchy outside, fluffy inside — but the burger was outstanding. …
  • Free State Capitol Lecture Jan. 31 Highlights Stories of NC Places – In many cases the name derivations are unusual, sometimes wildly so: Cat Square, Huggins Hell, Tater Hill, Whynot. Hill will discuss his role in updating this essential guide and how the “Gazetteer” tells us much about our own history. …
  • EAGLES SOAR IN SECOND GAME OF RUGBY WORLD CUP | – The Marine Corps Show Band blew the roof off as more than 200 guests (including the Eagles’ families) enjoyed brew, burgers, hotdogs, cole slaw, tater salad, freedom fries, and apple pie a la mode. I delivered a very …
  • Zzlicious Tater Tots | stebbijo’s Place – stebbijo’s Place – there’s no place like home. Local news aggregation, blogs, and commentary from Joanne Stebbins about Coeur d’Alene, Idaho and the surrounding area.

  • Tater tot salad battle! « My husband cooks – Tater tot salad Husband’s tater-tot salad (above) squares off against wife’s (below). Tater tot salad. Just to throw off any regular readers we might have… my husband is going to start off the commentary on this post (so, no, I’m …
  • Confusion about the gluten-free-ness of Ore Ida’s Tater Tots « Only … – I was alarmed when I recently saw that on its online page of its gluten-free foods that Ore-Ida/Heinz no longer listed Tater Tots — often a staple of those on a gluten-free diet — as gluten-free. Indeed, from the web page, here …
  • Wendy’s Blog: Legal Tags » WOS: Dozomo – Dozomo is a quick way to reach every search engine in the world! It’s also an art project/hack at the Wizards of OS conference, doing a 24-hour DotCom. UPDATE: Thanks to tor, which installs and runs quickly even on the Mac, I now have a secure, anonymous Net connection and can get Google back again, even on the WOS net. Yesterday on the last full day of WOS3, I was sitting in the cafeteria getting a little help from Marcell, to get a connection between my laptop and my bluetooth phone.
  • breakfast blogger » Blog Archive » Tater Cakes – What better use for leftover mashed taters than pancakes. Making fried mashed potatoes for breakfast is pretty good too, but I was in the mood for tater cakes this morning. potato pancakes 010. Once again, my trusty bag of …
  • Pick Me! » Lunch at Sonic – In my kids meal at Sonic, I got this little guy. He’s called Strawberry Tot. I don’t know if he’s supposed to be a strawberry flavored Tater Tot or a Tot made out strawberries. Probably the later. More red has shown up in my life in …
  • It’s Good to be Queen (right?) « Tater Tot Casserole – Sometimes being a feminist is a real downer. Just ask Missy, who is the youngest of 8 contestants for this year’s Rodeo Queen for our county. Her mother (uh, that would be me) quizzed her relentlessly about why she wanted …
  • Heart Transplants and ‘Cellular Memory’ | The Quackometer – Once again, the bonkers story of how organ transplant patients aquire the behavioural characteristics of their donors has cropped up in the more gullible p…
  • Be-ribbon Me « Tater Tot Casserole – I’ve had some requests for photos of the quilts that I took to the fair. They did get blue ribbons, after all. I’d feel a little prouder if the entries hadn’t been so few this year. So this is the flag quilt I made this summer from scraps. …
  • Meet Mater’s inspiration « Route 66 News – Meet Mater’s inspiration November 12, 2006. Posted by Ron Warnick in Attractions, Events, Movies, Preservation, Uncategorized. trackback. It’s been the victim of neglect. The odometer reads 99372 miles, and there’s no …
  • Sorry, IKEA Canada, But Pricing Differentials Are Now WORSE … – BURLINGTON, ON, Nov. 1 – IKEA Canada announced today that it will begin honouring the recent federal government’s GST tax cut on all 9500 home furnishings products – effective immediately. In addition to the GST cut, …
  • Mashed Taters (Potatoes) | Flash Videos – Mashed Taters (Potatoes). Flash Video Animation by eNiGMa the MoNKey.
  • Language Log » She’s got two sibilants, no bilabial plosives – Time for some pop-music phonology! Erin McKean directs our attention to a video for”Saskia Hamilton,” a song by Ben Folds and Nick Hornby from their 2010 album Lonely Avenue. The video is performed by Charlie McDonnell, known on YouTube as”charlieissocoollike. This ode to the poet Saskia Hamilton, from the perspective of a young lit nerd, has a number of suitably nerdy jokes in it, such as”My teacher just told me that she’s dactylic!” (Pronounced as”SAS-ki-a HAM-il-ton,” the name is a double dactyl.
  • Twamley Snack Bar specials listed for Aug. 29 through Sept. 2 … – Uncategorized You are here: Home » Bulletin Board » Twamley Snack Bar specials listed for Aug. President Kelley to talk about Exceptional UND at Wake Up to UND Oct. Get Your Green On, a Homecoming celebration, is set for Oct.
  • Weaver-Hightower’s work on school food featured in top journal – According to Marcus Weaver-Hightower, school lunch is about more than just tater tots and hairnets. School food provision is complex, highly political and has implications […]
  • The Scroll @ Kaskaskia College » Blog Archive » New Baden Chili … – The smell of soup and chili filled the crisp air at the New Baden City Park on Saturday Oct. 25, where the 5 th Annual Chili and Soup cook off was held. , and there were other activities throughout the day.

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An Explosion of Color

I took this picture today on my morning walk. A little rain here in Phoenix can provide an amazing array of color. This bush, normally green, has over the last few days, exploded with beautiful purple flowers. The brilliance of this display stopped me in my tracks. A reminder from nature that the ordinary can became extraordinary. A little love brings out the hidden beauty in all of us.


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Fun with Church Signs

I found this website where you can make your own church signs. So I had a little fun making some signs of my own. Here are a few of my creations. Enjoy!

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To make your own signs, go to http://www.says-it.com/churchsigns/.
 comedy

Tater Scot, the Skype Psychic, known for his enlightening tarot card spreads, is a modern day wizard, tarot card reader, comedian, actor and hermetic, casting real spells of healing, encouragement and laughter in Phoenix, Arizona.

 comedy

 

For more resources:
  • Home « The Modern Day Wizard – The Modern Day Wizard is both a successful businessman and spiritual seeker. He is deeply committed to his own inner exploration and to enlightening others. He is both recognised in the outer world as a successful businessman with a sharp intellect and acumen, as well as being seen as an inner world guide with a deep insight and mystical intuition.
  • Personal Alchemy « The Modern Day Wizard – Most of us spend our lives rearranging our external world. We pin our expectations on a new job, a new relationship, a new house, more money or a better body in the hope of becoming fulfilled and happy. We soon realise the futility of constant acquisition in a bid for peace.
  • Press « The Modern Day Wizard – Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser. Andrew has been invited as an international healer to Kamalaya Koh Samui, Thailand`s award-winning Wellness Sanctuary and Holistic Spa resort.
  • An Interview with a Modern-Day Taoist Wizard Peter Ragnar … – If You’re Conscious, How Can You Die? An Interview with a Modern-Day Taoist Wizard Peter Ragnar by Andrew Cohen. http://www.wie.org/j30/ragnar.asp · Peter Ragnar. Bio & resources. I’ve often wondered how it would …
  • OCCULT VIEW » Blog Archive » FICTIONAL, HISTORICAL AND … – When we think of wizards we usually think of the grand wizards of myth and fiction. The first names that come to mind could be the legendary Merlin, or the LOTR’s Gandalf, or Harry Potter’s Dumbledore. Wizard literally means …
  • What Instructional Designers can learn from IBM’s Watson | Kapp … – By now you have heard about IBM’s super computer, Watson is a modern day wizard answering questions that seemed impossible for a computer to answer only a short while ago. Why? Well until the Waston, Jeopardy …
  • My 7 Great Ideas and Themes Behind #TEDxNYED 2011 | The Jose … – I appreciated the idea of humanizing technology. Staying connected is important, but it has to be in the context of making those human connections more real, not hiding behind a computer like a modern-day Wizard of Oz. 2. …

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