Life at the Laundromat

For the longest time I had no washer and dryer at home, so once every 2 weeks, I had to truck down to the laundromat. I know you think as a modern day wizard, you should be able to just zap your clothes clean. Though I am sure that it is possible, I have yet to manage this simple task. So I must bless the public laundromat with my presence.

There are a lot of unusual characters, aside from me, that one can meet at the laundromat. For example, there’s the guy that, of the 100 washers available, picks the one right next to yours. He starts to load the washer and you notice blood all over the sheets he putting in the washer. He keeps looking around rather nervously.

Then, of course there is the lady who, I hope, is babysitting all those kids she has with her. Though I doubt it because they look just like her. She takes up every washer available and still has more loads waiting. Maybe it’s me, but there is just an usually smell that prevades these women and their kids. If a few of these women arrive at the same time, you could be an involuntary member of a flash mob. Kids crying, screaming and begging for another quarter to take a “ride” in the dryer. Scary.

You might notice a girl that comes in. You say “hello”. She seems nice enough. She starts loading her washer and that’s when you notice the panties with shit-stains (or worse) on them. How do you proceed conversationally with her, pretending that you didn’t just see that? Now you start to wonder who used the washer before you. What was that was a brown “who farted” towel that was stuck to the side?

I rarely find laudromats in “nice neighborhoods” so I expect there to be some usually activity when I go. I am always afraid to leave my laundry and come back later to find everyone wearing clothes that look suspisiously like mine. Though admittedly, I am not washing Armani suits or anything, but still I don’t want to lose my Greatful Dead shirt or, god forbid, my Star Wars shirt! But I find it difficult staying there while my laundry is washing or drying. If the place has televisions, they are usually playing talk shows or soap operas, in languages, I am not likely to understand, at a volume, I am not likely to appreciate.

All I can say is the opportunity to use a washer and dryer in the privacy of my own home with my own shit-stained clothes to wash, is one of the greatest benefits of the modern age! If you find yourself in need of the public laundromat, bring lots of quarters, so you too, can take rides in the dryer! It’s totally fun! :)

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About Tater Scot

Tater Scot is a comic, entertainer & psychic living in the Valley of the Sun, Phoenix, Arizona.
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5 Responses to Life at the Laundromat

  1. I saw your page and clicked to link to this page. Wow! I can’t remember when I laughed so hard. I need to keep my eyes peeled next time I go to the laundromat. 😉

  2. Your own writing style has amazed me. To look at life at a laundromat in such a humorous way is very unique and frankly, funnier than I thought it could be. Anyway, thank you, really excellent write-up.

  3. Kenneth O' Grady says:

    Funny story! Thanks for sharing it. I hope you come out with more! :)

  4. Lady Nice says:

    OMG! That is so wrong and yet so funny at the same time! Really good stuff.

  5. I don’t even know how I ended up here, but I thought this post was good. I do not know who you are but certainly you’re going to a famous blogger if you are not already 😉 Cheers!